The Birth of Maya Patience

This birth is our first out-of-hospital birth and its such a great story. I love it. Many thanks to the wonderful Katie for submitting. Katie birthed all her babies at home (or in a home...) and she's just down right awesome!

To submit YOUR birth story, click here.

I was 18 years old. Living about 45 minutes away from my midwifes house. We decided that I would have the baby there, because we were living in this depressing apartment that had literally no windows. It was like a cave and I didn't want to have a baby there. So about 3 AM I woke up having some contractions that were pretty strong. I got up and woke up Maya's father. I figured we should probably head that way since it was a bit of a drive. Only problem, was the car wouldn't start! So we called a friend to come get us. I get fully dressed, and start getting stuff together, and what happens? My water breaks all over the place! But by that time Tommy is there with the car so I just throw on a dress and off we go to the car.  Well, at the time, my best friend lived next door and her mom happened to be my midwife so she had to come. Plus her baby and her two step daughters. So  we all squeeze into Tommys Dodge Omni. It was me, Mayas dad, Tommy, Joy (my friend) and her three kids all crammed in this tiny car, lol! So we take off to my midwifes house. I'm having some major contractions by that time and Joy is laughing from the back seat. Telling me it's gonna get a whole lot worse! She had just had her baby 6 months before so it was still fresh in her mind.

Well, we finally got there. Now my midwife is a total hippy. They have this big half finished house in the woods and the do ren fairs and they always have extra people staying there. You know the ren fair hippy type! So she kicks everybody out and tells them to go find something to do while her preggo lady gives birth and she'll let everybody know when they can come in. And I proceed to labor. I was about 4 cm when I got there at about 7 am. Soon my family shows up. My mom and dad and my sister and my brother in law. I still have no idea why he wanted to be there so bad, but he did, bless his heart! He basically stared off into the corner the majority of the time while I groaned and carried on! 

My mother brought champagne and strawberries to celebrate with when the baby came, but I didn't get any. (we''ll get to that later, lol). So anyway, I remember everyone was hanging out laughing and talking and looking at some big Calvin and Hobbes coffee table book. It was totally pissing me off because here I was in labor and they were all talking and laughing and just having a good ole time, and boy was it getting to me!

Well,  the labor went smoothly and around 3 pm or so I felt pushy. So I pushed and pushed and pushed my baby out at 3:45 pm on January 18th 1997. She was beautiful and had a great set of lungs. She crapped all over my midwifes tye dye dress! I held her a bit, and then decided to take a shower, where I delivered the placenta. When I got out, I realized that everybody had consumed my champagne and strawberries! Someone must have given the all clear because here comes the hordes of hippies flooding through the house. Admiring and blessing the baby, playing music, making food. One guy made me this fresh beet/garlic/apple juice to "restore my strength". It was nasty, but I thanked him and choked it down.

We waited about 2 hours to make sure me and the baby were both alright and off we went home! 

The end!

Baby Diego's Arrival

Third story in our birth story series comes from Mari in Chi-town. Mari's a mama to four- three boys and one sweet little girl, Sofia. Diego is Mari's oldest, born in 2005. Her story is awesome, so check it out and enjoy.

If you'd like to contribute YOUR birth story, email it to me here. It doesn't matter how long ago it happened, if it was natural or you used an epidural. Had a c-section? Doesn't matter. A birth story is a birth story, and I want to share them.

November 2, 2005

7 a.m.

Got ready for school that morning and was about to walk out the door when I felt a trickle down my leg.  I looked and my pants were wet all down my leg.  I freaked out and told my boyfriend, he looked and he freaked out too (yea, I’m sure you guys have guessed by now, this was our first).  So I called my doc and told her what was happening but that I wasn’t having any pain yet.  She told me to go to the hospital anyways because it may be time.  So off we went to the hospital, a little freaked out because the baby was a whole week early.

12:00 p.m.

We’re at the hospital now, in a room waiting and panicking because we left in such a rush that we didn’t bring anything with us.  And at this point, it seems as if every nurse and orderly in the hospital has stuck their hand in me to check if I am dilated.  After 2 hours of this, a nurse comes in and says I can go home.  My water is leaking, but it’s such a small trickle, its ok until my doctor’s appointment the next day.  I tell her I feel like a dum-dum for even coming in.  She tells me it’s better to be safe than sorry, trying to make me feel better, but still feel like such a first timer.  Go home and the rest of the day is uneventful.

November 3, 2005

7:00 a.m.

Nothing unusual today, woke up as usual and got ready for my doctor’s appointment.  Our car was in the shop that day so we had to wait around for my mom to pick us up and take us.  We had breakfast and then went for a walk around the park until my mom arrived.  We walked around the park 3 or 4 times before my mom showed up and I felt fine. 

10:00 p.m.

Laying on the bed in the doctor’s office waiting for her to come into the room.  My boyfriend is already talking about where to go for lunch, and I have to admit, I’m starving already even though we didn’t eat that long ago.  My doctor comes in, is about to sit down and have a good look when she pops back up and says “yup, it’s time…you’re water is broken, head over to the hospital”.  I ask her if she’s on call tonight and she informs me that tonight she is not and that one of her colleagues will be delivering my baby girl (had 3 ultrasounds, all said girl).  I was bummed, really wanted my doc to be the one delivering her. 

So we head over to the hospital.  Not sure if we had time to eat or not, so we opted not to stop and eat first.  BAD IDEA.  Get to the hospital, get in a room and the nurse comes in to send me home because my water hasn’t broke yet.  I tell her the doctor sent me over and said it was, so she leaves to call my doctor.  But does a quick take back and gives me a quick check.

12:00 p.m.

A doctor comes in to tell me my water is leaking a lot now, but it hasn’t quite broke but it’s emptying quick.  I’m only dilated to a 4 at this point, but they start the pitocin on my doctor’s orders and I trust her, so I just go with the flow.  The nurse who sets up the pitocin asks if I am going to get an epidural, I tell her NO.

2:00 p.m.

The contractions are pretty painful at this point, but not that close together.  I am still able to maintain a conversation with my mom and boyfriend.  We are trying to decide on the baby’s name.  We have been told the baby is a girl, and we can’t decide on a girl name.  Neither of us even has any potential names….we have nothing.  Pains come and go, I breathe deeply and moan but am still okay.  My boyfriend is writing possible names on the chalkboard, but we have nothing.

5:00 p.m.

Now the contractions are unbearable and really close together.  My bag still hasn’t fully broke or emptied, so still waiting.  And still, I’m just at a 4.  I can’t take the pain.  It’s horrendous….feels as if my back is trying to crack in half.  I lay on my side, no comfort, on my back, no comfort and can’t stand, as much as I want to because of all the dang cords connected to me.  And I am STARVING at this point.  Ice chips just aren’t cutting it anymore now.  One of my friend’s calls me to tell me she’s on her way to see me, I ask for a taco.  She gets there in 5 minutes and sneaks in tacos for me and my boyfriend.  A nurse comes in and tells my boyfriend to get out that no food is allowed in the rooms.  She’s really rude about it too, oh well.  I’m hiding mine under my pillow the whole time.  She leaves and I scarf down my tacos. Ahhhh, I feel so much better.  I also scarf down like 4 jugs of ice chips, and in no time, had to go to the bathroom.  I go number 2 and am hoping that’s everything so I don’t poop while pushing my baby girl out.  Pains are coming and going, I lost track of time so I have no clue how close they are.

8:00 p.m.

I want the epidural…still at a four, so I am begging for the epidural at this point.  I can’t even see straight cuz the pains are so close and so strong.  My boyfriend tells me, during a contraction, that it’s not that bad and just breathe deeply.  I get angry and tell him to shut up, but he doesn’t, just keeps telling me it’s not that bad – so he irritates me to the point where I punched him…only the pain has me all twisted and confused, he’s on the other side of me, and I hit the nurse.  In the middle of another contraction I’m trying to apologize to the nurse.  Thank goodness she was really sweet and understanding, she said it was ok and she ran to get the papers to sign for the epidural.

9:00 p.m.

Fighting with my mom because she says I am going to slow down the labor if I get the epidural.  She is really arguing and fighting with me, I just can’t believe she won’t let it go.  She keeps on and on and on, I finally yell at her to shut up and leave the room if she doesn’t want me to get because I am going to get it.  My mom and boyfriend are standing there with their mouths open wide; I have never spoken to my mom like that.

9:20 p.m.

The epidural guy is there; explaining everything and the nurse is telling me how to sit and explaining the whole process.  She holds on to me, and the doc does his thing and POOOOF the pain is gone….I’m all better.  My mom is still mumbling under her breath how I’m a coward and my sister didn’t get the epidural, and I just want her to shut up already.  But the epidural has me feeling good so I just zone her out. My boyfriend and I continue with names.

This goes on till the next morning…….

November 4, 2005 

Around 6 a.m. my doc pops her head in my room.  I’m happy to see her.  She’s on call, so she’ll be delivering my baby today.  She checks me and I’m finally ready, but my bag hasn’t broke yet.  It’s almost completely empty, so she has to break it herself.  So she does and tells the nurses to set up.  I’m starting to feel a lil pain, but not as bad as the day before.  My boyfriend and a nurse prop my legs up on the stirrups and my doc tells me to start pushing – one push, 2 pushes – they see hair, 3 pushes – almost out, 4^th push – she’s out!!  Doc grabs her and screams “OH NO!!!”  I freak out and automatically start crying.  OH NO WHAT?? What’s wrong with her…my doc says, “oh my, I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have said that, just that she’s not a girl, you have a baby boy!!!”  I’m relieved but still cry because we have no clothes for a boy, everything is pink – EVERYTHING!!  They give my baby and he is beautiful.  His name is Diego Roman…always had a boy name ready, maybe that was a sign.

Wyeth's Birth

 Here is the 2nd birth story in our collection, submitted by the wonderfully beautiful Erin, of happiness.is.real.when.shared. Erin and I went to high school together and thanks to Facebook, we were reconnected. It was here that we realized we had so much in common, and an amazing friendship has been reformed from 2500 miles away.

Click here to read Noah's birth, the first birth story in our collection.

Erin & Wyeth

I found out I was pregnant on October 7th, much to my surprise. I never expected to be pregnant after a prior, obviously incorrect, diagnosis by an insensitive gynecologist. So when the pregnancy test came back positive, I wasn't sure how to react. I took a hot shower, cried tears of shock and joy, woke up my husband, and shared the news. Life became strangely dreamlike: nothing seems very real, everything seemed very good.

I obediently went to my gynecologist who confirmed my pregnancy and gave me the estimated due date of June 14th. But according to my calendar, I thought my due date should be June 8th. So despite the sonogram, I stuck with June 8th. :)

After months of impersonal treatment, I made the best decision of my pregnancy: to switch to a midwife. I originally planned on having an epidural and "not being a hero" in the delivery room. But as my pregnancy progressed and birth drew near, I was flooded with terrible stories of medicated births gone wrong. From c-sections to discomfort to scarring to forceps, I started reading and reaching out. Jen was a major source of comfort and knowledge.

On May 30th, weeks before either due date, I woke up at 3:00am. I felt a great deal of cramping. Again, I woke up my husband and told him the news: "I'm pretty sure I'm in labor". He encouraged me to try and get some sleep for the big event ahead of us. I tried, but it was like sleeping on Christmas Eve. My body radiated with excitement. I managed to get a few hours of sleep before waking to start what would be the most amazing day of my life.

John and I woke up and got ready for church. We met John's parents there, at the church in which we were married a year before. The priest talked about the holy trinity and I knew I was in labor. The cramping became stronger and more frequent. I was nervous, excited, and somehow completely calm.

From church we went home and I gardened through the contractions. We planted some scarlet begonias and a rose bush by the mailbox. I don't think anyone truly believed I was in labor. After spending some time at home with my husband, in-laws, Wyeth's future godparents, and our garden, we headed over to my father's house for a Memorial Day BBQ. The contractions were fairly strong and regular. I decided to go for a swim. I spent quite a while in the pool, with the water easing the discomfort of the contractions. I borrowed John's watch and timed them. 8 minutes apart.

I got out of the pool, ate some fruit and some snacks, drank a lot of water, and let nature take its course. Everyone around me seemed equal parts nervous and excited. Eventually the contractions started getting stronger and closer. I stayed in the company of my family and friends but would close my eyes during the waves of discomfort. I would breath deeply and remind myself that the contraction would be over shortly and I would feel normal again. All day I kept saying, "I can't believe that this is what labor is like. I can't believe this is happening. This isn't at all what I expected."

Around 9PM, the contractions became too uncomfortable for me to stay around company. I went home with John and my friend Sania where I took a hot shower. The warmth and the water eased the discomfort. I sat on the birthing ball and asked my companions to rub my back. Eventually, I knew it was time to head to the hospital.

John drove ever so slowly there. He says now he didn't want to make things tense, but the anticipation was driving me crazy! We finally got to the hospital where the admissions nurse told me that I didn't look like I was in much pain, so I probably wasn't progressed enough to be checked in. I was extremely disappointed. When the midwife came in to check, I was 7 centimeters dialated! The nurse was wrong and into the delivery room I went.

At this point, the discomfort wasn't as manageable, but it still wasn't nearly as painful as I had expected. I sat on the birthing ball, I walked around the room, and I took a hot shower. At one point while John was massaging my lower back, my water broke! I knew I would meet my son soon.

The midwife checked my progress and told me I was 9.5 centimeters, almost ready to go. She told me that I would feel an overwhelming urge to push. I asked her if I would be sure. She laughed and said, "Trust me, honey, you'll know." About 5 minutes later, I KNEW. Everything in my being told me to push with all my might. The nurse, the midwife, and John got into position, and it began.

I thought it would be the most horrific experience of my life. So wrong. The pushing felt like a relief. I was uncomfortable when the contraction would start, then I started pushing and I felt invigorated. I pushed and I pushed and I pushed. And after about an hour, I was exhausted. I told the midwife that I couldn't do it anymore. I looked at John begging for help with my eyes. They encouraged me and let me feel Wyeth's head. I knew it was close. I pushed and pushed and pushed some more. I let out some honest-to-goodness primal grunts and yells. And in between contractions and pushing, I closed my eyes and prayed for strength. And God delivered.

In the spirit of honesty, there was a time where I was in GREAT pain. And this is the only time I'm using pain. Mid-push, the midwife asked me to stop. She said it would feel counterintuitive and it would be hard, but in order to avoid a tear, I needed to go slow and give my body time to stretch. Well, mygahhh, that hurt. But the next contraction came along, I pushed, and out slid my beautiful, blue baby boy.

The placed him on my chest and told me to rub him. I cried and looked at my husband who was crying, too. And everything prior to that moment was erased. I, too, was born that day as a mother, in a new, more spectacular life.

Noah's Birth

So I made a call out to all parents- both moms and dads- for their birth stories. Whether the experience was good or bad; long or short, I want to share the different sides of birth. No matter how similar two experiences may be, they are still so different from one another.

The first I received is from Jacquelyn, the wife of an old high school friend. She's an extended breastfeeder, a co-sleeper, a cloth diaperer and what seems to be an amazing mama.

Her story of Noah's birth is done in time line form and was written just the morning after the birth, while all the details were still fresh in her mind.

Read and enjoy. If you'd like, send me your birth story here.

Jacquelyn & Noah (almost a year old)

Brand new baby Noah

Sept 23rd (Weds)

6am: Bloody show

10am: Continued bloody show, increased in blood and some cramps like menstruation. Called midwives to ask if everything sounds good. Midwives said it sounds great, and we'll probably see our baby within 3 days.

                            11pm: Laying in bed on my laptop, got some light contractions, wasn't even sure if they counted as contractions but timed them anyway. they were around 7-10 mins apart lasting about 45 seconds.

1130pm: Went into living room to tell Jay what was going on. I sat on the birth ball to help with pain and contractions started to increase.

Sept 24th (Thursday)

 
1230am: Contractions still getting worse, having to slightly breathe through them. Sitting on ball, felt like baby dropped really hard into my cervix in the middle of the contraction, and the pain of the contraction increased 10x!! I wanted to cry it hurt so bad out of no where! Then, I felt a little trickle. My water broke!!!

1245am: Called Midwives to ask what to do. Wasn't even sure if my water had actually broken or i peed myself cause of the pain of last contraction. She told me to wait it out till contractions were 3-5 min apart for an hour. unless the pain is too unbearable.

100am: Hopped into shower, hot water felt amazing on my belly, couldnt find a good position to stand/sit/kneel in. Started to feel nauseas and like I had to poo really bad. Jay left the bathroom and puking and pooping ensued. I told Jay to pack his stuff and were going to the hospital. I didnt know, and still dont know why I decided right then was when we should leave for the hospital, but I'm glad we left when we did.

130am: Load up car and left home.. got gas and and was having some strong contractions in the car. Needed Jay to stroke my arm gently, which helped a lot, and I breathed through them. The pain at this point wasn't unbearable, just uncomfortable still. 

2am: Arrive at hospital, cant make it to the front door without having 3 contractions. Leaning on Jay and doing the "slow dance" helped, but the pain was definitely increasing with each contraction. Male nurse grabs wheelchair for me and helps us get inside. I go to the 8th floor and get asked a bunch of questions, then they brought me into triage. I got hooked up to the monitors. I sat there for about an hour getting asked questions, filling out paper work and stuff. My back hurt sooo bad cause of the way she had me sitting.

3am: At that point, I started asking about pain meds. I knew I didn't want an epidural, but the pain of each contraction was getting bad. Usually theres a break in pain between contractions, but mine were coming every 2-3 mins without a break. I got an IV hooked up to me for fliuds, and got checked for how dilated I was by the midwife. I was 4 cm!!! They told me that my water was a tad green and the baby might have pooped in the womb. They told me they were going to keep me there and we went and found my delivery room!
4am: Sat in delivery room and worked through a bunch of contractions.

430am: I asked to get drugs, and which the midwife prefers, and she suggested Stadol. I haven't done any research at all on pain meds, thinking I wouldnt use any, so I trusted her and got some injected into my IV. It took about a minute for it to get to me and I started feeling like I was buzzed/going under anesthesia. I fell asleep then for about an hour.

530am: Woke up from Stadol induced sleep with an enormous amount of pain. I wanted to cry it hurt so bad!! I pressed the Nurse button and someone came in. I asked to be checked for how dilated I was. I got checked and was 9cm!!! I slept through transition!! Midwife told me to turn over to my left side, and the lip of the last cm will be gone soon. As soon as my next contraction started my body wanted to push. It just started pushing. I pressed the Nurse button again and told the midwife my body is pushing, I need to push! By now, the Stadol has worn off and I am back to reality 100%. Pushing starts. Now, pushing didnt really hurt. When a contraction came, it just felt like I needed to poop really bad, and I would bear down as if I was doing exactly that. I could feel him lowering deeper and deeper into my cervix. I did about 6 sets of 3 pushes.

6am: Midwife got all of her catching things ready, and I saw in the little mirror his hair sticking out on the top of his head. It was awesome. I watched Jay's reaction to everything. The midwives asked if I wanted the mirror there the whole time I was pushing and I said no. I was pushing so hard I doubt I would be able to keep my head up and eyes open, haha. I could feel Noah stretching me out. It was hard to sit and wait between contractions, even if the were only a minute or 2 apart. I held a steady pressure on him so he didnt slip back in. The whole 2 steps forward 1 step back thing kinda sucks. The burning sensation of having him crown was very painful.

6:04am: I could feel his nose coming through and that was all the inspiration I needed to push as hard as I could ever push. The midwife told me to listen carefully and go slow. His cord was wrapped around his neck twice, but she got it undone quickly and it wasn't an issue. Then his head popped out, she told me one more strong push and his shoulders will be out! That was such a strange/amazing feeling. I felt a gush of fluid and his shoulders turning as he slipped out and I looked down and saw my amazing baby between my legs. I heard little whimper cries. I held his little hand as the midwife was cutting the cord. They took him over to the bassinet and they got him breathing well and suctioned the fluid out of his nose and mouth. They rubbed him down and brought him over to me. I had my bare chest out in the open for him to lay on, and I stroked his little hand and foot and face. He was adorable. Having to get stitched up sucked. I didnt tear terribly, just a 1st degree tear on my labia and minor fissure tears along the sides.

Noah was born at 6:04 am September 24th weighing in a 8 lbs 6 oz.

My labor and delivery was in total 7 hours! It was such an amazing experience, even though you hear that all the time, it is so true. There is nothing like having a little person that depends 100% on you and your partner, and is half you and and half of them. The love is indescribable.

17 1/2 Hours and a Ruby to End the Day...

Very early Wednesday (10/13) I received the phone call from Rita that she was officially in labor. I clumsily got dressed in the dark then stumbled into the bathroom to wash my face with some cold water. Luckily I had all my stuff packed already so I didn’t have much to worry about besides sleepily falling down the stairs on my way to the car.

With contractions being 5 minutes apart and a bag of waters that had broken early the previous evening, I (very naively) figured I’d be home not too long after lunch. As I drove over to Rita and Bobby’s house my grogginess turned into excitement. At some point this chilly October day, two wonderful people were going to officially become parents to a sweet little girl and their lives would forever change…and somehow, in the midst of it all, they wanted me to help them through the laborious stretch of their journey.

When I got to their place (a cute little house with a garden on the North Side) Rita was doing pretty great. We took care of some light back pain with the heating pad then tried to get Rita to eat some food, but she just wasn’t feeling it. At least we got some water and tea in her.

Rocky, the resident Corgi, could sense something was going on and he paced the house seeking clues (that he naturally wasn’t going to find).

It didn’t take too long until contractions were 2 1/2-3 minutes apart and it was at this time that a drive to the birthing center was in order.

I followed Rita and Bobby through Missoula and across town to the little two-story house where they hoped their baby would be born. We were greeted with kind smiles and brought into a comfy room complete with a fireplace, a Jacuzzi tub, and a nice big comfy bed (among other home-like features). Little did we all know that we’d be there for 12 more hours and we’d be leaving with a baby still in Rita’s belly.

Rita was absolutely amazing from start to finish. If anyone wanted women to think labor was difficult they would be sure to stay away from anything containing Rita during labor. She was so in tune with her body and the only sounds we heard from her were her deep breaths as she worked through each contraction. She spent the earlier parts of labor in the big birth tub then switched things up and spent a lot of time on the birthing ball. Anytime she tried to lay down the back pain was too much and right back up again she went. It wasn’t too long before she was dilated to 9 centimeters and we were all convinced it would be just a few more short hours and baby Ruby would be out in the world. Unfortunately 5 hours passed and Rita was still at 9 centimeters and for some reason contractions seemed to be going from 1-2 minutes apart, to 3-4 minutes apart. Regression instead of progression. The frustrating aspect was that she never once got the urge to push, hence the real issue with not getting to 10 centimeters.
We walked outside for quite a bit and contractions started getting closer together, but as soon as we’d go inside to get checked, they’d slow right back down again. After a lot of walking outside and no progression in centimeters, Jeanne (Rita & Bobby’s midwife) felt it was best for us to go the hospital and get Rita on some Pitocin. She was so close, just one more centimeter to go and that natural urge to push was bound to come. Both Rita and Bobby seemed at real peace with the outcome (although it wasn’t what they hoped for). The three of us were laughing on the front steps of the birthing center just 20 minutes before the decision to go the hospital was made. This was a true indication of how high spirits were that day.

The drive over to the hospital was rather emotional for me. By this time I had been awake and helping these two amazing people for 13 hours. My exhaustion all seemed to hit me as I walked to the car talking to Ray on the cell phone. I missed him, I missed the kids (who I hadn’t seen since 8:00 the night before), and part of me felt guilty for being gone for so long. I cried. Hard. But in the end, Ray’s reassurance, encouragement and love helped me regain composure (for that time being) and off to the hospital I went.

Now, I feel I need to preface this part with a disclaimer of my intense dislike for hospitals. I think they stink (both literally and figuratively). I cannot stand the way they smell (pukes as I think about it) and I just have this overall bad feel when I’m in one. Can’t put an exact finger on it, but I just don’t like them.

So we arrived at the hospital and Rita and Bobby had pre-registered (just in case) which means the hospital staff loves them. We’re brought into what would be Rita’s labor and delivery room. A stern nurse comes in with a stack of paperwork and Rita is signing, signing, signing, and signing some more. I even get to sign a piece of paper (a Non-Creditionaled Medical Workers thingy majiggy). CMC basically wanted to let me know that I couldn’t in any way attempt to deliver the baby (uhh, duh) or have any direct say in decisions that were made (really?).

The nurse promptly hooked Rita up to a machine to measure the contractions as well as the baby’s heart rate. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. We were definitely in a much different atmosphere than our previous twelve hours and we could all sense that.

Everyone got settled in and Rita was finally comfortable laying down thanks to a lot of pillows and an adjustable hospital bed to prop her up. The doctor on-call came in (Dr. Summers) and introduced himself. He checked Rita (still 9 centimeters) and informed her of what exactly the Pitocin was to be used for. He then let her know that she might want an epidural at some point (my first thought was- “She’s NINE CENTIMETERS, why would anyone get an epi at nine centimeters?!?”), and that a c-section was something that could also end up happening. She nodded with each word he said and Bobby sat next to her calmly nodding along with her. Synchronized nodding is what it looked like- I loved it.

The stern nurse came back in not too long after that and started the Pitocin. Soon enough the contractions started getting strong, more intense and closer together. At some point, Dr. Summers and a nurse came in to put a “clamp” on the baby’s head. Apparently the heart rate monitor was picking up some whacky rates and the doctor was having issues distinguishing between Rita’s maternal heart beat and the baby’s. On the monitor we were now able to view the rate of contractions, Rita’s heart rate, AND the baby’s heart rate. All day long with every heart rate check, baby was between 130-150 beats per minute- perfect. Since we’d been at the hospital it was the same thing and I don’t believe any of us were once worried about the baby inside of that belly.

The Pitocin was upped twice and not too long after the second dosage Rita began getting sick (it had been quite some time since she had). Within a few short minutes, four nurses and Dr. Summers came bursting into the room. I think we were all really confused (I know I at least was).

The next series of events were rather tense and extremely emotional. I truly wanted to cry and somehow, in all my 7 months of pregnancy, my exhaustion, and my maternal emotions, I was able to control myself.

Dr. Summers told Rita that the baby wasn’t reacting well to the contractions and that her heartbeat had been below 100 beats per minute for over 4 minutes. Now I am here to contest that according to the monitor/screen we were looking at in Rita’s labor room, this wasn’t the case. I did notice it dip down to about 95 bpm, but that was for maybe thirty seconds (and I really emphasize on the “maybe”). Perhaps they were seeing things on their screen that we weren’t seeing in that room…

So Dr. Summers continues on with the baby not reacting well to the contractions and we just “need to have this baby now."

Rita asks, “A c-section?”

Dr. Summers, “Yes. We just need to have this baby now.”

The look on Rita’s face was truly sad and as I looked at Bobby’s expression I saw a true mix of frustration, fright, and anger.

“Is this absolutely necessary?” he asks Dr. Summers.

From here a series of words were exchanged. Dr. Summers seemed to get very defensive over the question and his tone of voice was extremely condescending. Bobby stated that he was merely asking a question to which he was met with another series of patronizing words. Bobby was out of his chair and out of the room so quickly. Dr. Summers didn’t even bat an eye and just continued telling Rita how she needed a c-section. It was best for the baby.

Meanwhile, nurses are grabbing an oxygen mask for Rita to put on, to help out the baby. For me, this made the whole situation feel so surreal. We had been in the calm confines of the birthing center for over 12 hours and had barely been at the hospital for 2 and Bobby’s cursing in the hallway, Rita’s wearing an oxygen mask, and nurses are running around like chickens with their heads cut off. I can only imagine what my facial expression was at this moment and I suspect it was one of complete shock.

The stern nurse had Rita sign some more paperwork and asked her if she understood why they were doing the c-section, to which she replied with a rather quiet “yes.” The nurse then proceeded to basically bash Bobby and his being upset, which seemed to affect Rita negatively. Meanwhile, the machines are still pumping Pitocin into Rita (who obviously no longer needs it) and amidst all of this chaos and emotion, she is still receiving the intense contractions that come with the drug. Rita’s mom asks the nurse to turn off the machine and she does promptly.

A few minutes seem like hours (to me) as the nurses quickly prep Rita for surgery. They put some extremely tight socks on to prevent clotting, insert and remove needles and various other tasks for surgery prep. At some point the anesthesiologist came in to explain the epidural.

In the meantime, Bobby has returned, calmed down, but still a little upset about the encounter with Dr. Summers. The stern nurse asks Bobby if he’ll be okay in the operating room and a brief, but tense exchange is made between the two of them. Within a few minutes there is another encounter between Bobby and the stern nurse, who for some reason decided to interject some of her own opinions about Rita and Bobby coming to the hospital. This gets Rita’s mom upset, and Bobby storms out of the room again. From my point of view, the nurse’s comments were unnecessary and way out of line. As Bobby left she mockingly told him he wasn’t allowed in the O.R.

Rita pleaded with the nurse to let Bobby in, insisting he would be okay. I told the nurse that he had been such a long and emotional day, and when all was said and done I knew Bobby would be calm in the O.R. In the end, Rita was being wheeled off to surgery prep while Bobby was put into some scrubs so he can accompany her for the birth of their baby.

Rita’s parents, her sister and her brother-in-law, Bobby and myself all waited for the doctor to come and get Bobby and this truly seemed like an eternity. We were moved to another hallway and finally Dr. Summers came. Not too much longer and the baby would be in this world. After such a long and emotional day, it would be the perfect ending.

It wasn’t too long before Rita’s sister said, “There’s Bobby! They’ve got the baby!”

We all bounced up and went over to the window of the nursery and there was Bobby and sweet little Ruby James. She was weighed, measured, and had her footprints stamped. She was calm, then she cried, calmed down, and cried again. Here was this perfect little baby that we had all waited so patiently for that day and all that happened to get her here was behind us…and for the time being, forgotten. Bobby was such a proud father and I just knew this little baby was a lucky one.


Beautiful Ruby James entered this world on October 13, 2010, at 10:50 pm. She weighed 8 pounds 0 ounces and measured 20 1/2 inches. She had the tiniest hands and feet, but she was so long and healthy. A true gem of a baby.

The events of that day are ones I will never forget. Here are three people I will forever be tied to and for such an amazing reason.

Thank you, Rita and Bobby, for choosing me to help through your labor. Rita, you are such a strong woman and I am truly awed by your strength and determination. Bobby, you are going to be such a wonderful daddy and while I didn’t know your dad personally, I know he is so proud of you today. And of course, baby Ruby, you are one lucky little baby to have two such incredibly marvelous parents. I cannot wait to watch you grow and to see the person you become.

About Me

Hello, friends,

I'm a 27 year old mama to two, with our third expected sometime in December. Our little family resides in beautiful Missoula, Montana, where my love, Ray, and I are both full-time students. He is in the lower-division nursing program through The University of Montana/Montana State and I am in my pre-requisite for nursing to go on to become a home birth nurse-midwife. 

Our daughter, Georgia Pearl, will be 4 years old on December 8th and our son, Shea Francis, turned 2 in April. Our third, whose gender is to remain a mystery until birth day, is due December 20th, although we're all suspecting it will be gracing us with it's presence earlier than that.

All of our children have been born at home, and natural childbirth education is something I am very passionate about. I recently took the Birth Mama doula training and have started my own business, Mountain Pearl Doula. If you, or anyone you know is looking for a birth doula & you live in the Missoula-area, get in touch with me. I'd love to help you through this amazing time of your life. 

The point of my blog is to post and share different information about pregnancy, labor, child birth, and beyond.  If you have any suggestions for posts or would like to guest post, let me know. If you have any questions regarding any of these topics, please feel free to write me either via a comment or a shoot me an email here.

Hope you'll find my page informative, helpful, and at times, inspirational.